Laura is a junior in high school who enjoys scrapbooking, writing, and playing with small children. And so this assignment, to write an "epic" with herself as the hero, was naturally set in the world of small children. Enjoy!
The Legend of the Scissor-Monster
By Laura Traff
The children were running with scissors, and there was no respite. Thoughts of danger flashed through Laura's head as she became certain that her destiny lay in the sheer obliteration of the maniacal Scissor-monster.
She had been born into the highest of situations in all the land -- the nanny. Not only was she born into it, she was good at it, and not only was she good at it, she was the best at it. As if being the best at it wasn't enough, Mother Goose, the goddess of all nannies, bestowed her blessing upon the babe. Some even say that Mother Goose sprang the heroine into existence. She could hold conversations with 12 children at once and read books upside down, backwards or both with 20 more kids on her lap. Laura possessed a sage-like wisdom about the ways of children, and it was she who embarked on a journey to save all children from the threat of the vilest creature that has ever plagued the nursery. (Yes, it was worse than Glitter.)
The Scissor-monster's lair was far away in the highest of cliffs, so no child could reach him. That is where all the worst monsters resided -- hidden away from children. It was believed that this made them safe. The Scissor-monster, however, was not content unless he was the mastermind of a fiendish plot. Using his cunning wit, he beguiled caring adults so much that his minions were put into the hands of the little ones. Innocent children were able to thrust sharp objects towards each other in makeshift swordfights, slice one another's hair, and the problem went to such an extent that the malevolent henchmen were occasionally put in mouths.
It was the mastermind behind this wicked plot that Laura was traveling to meet. As she came to the base of the cliff, she stopped to ask wisdom from Mother Goose. "If there is any way for me to save these children from further distress, show it to me now. I plead for your grace and blessing in this most dire of circumstances." Then she slept on the eve of her greatest battle. This was her dream:
It was dark, but all around there was a repeating over and over and over. Laura turned to one side, then she turned to the other side. The sound came closer, closer, and closer still. The brave heroine was unnerved, but stood her ground. She knew that sound, if she could only remember. A light sprung into being, and a book floated down, oddly light for its size. When it reached her delicate fingers the entire world became light, and the sinister was replaced by the ringing of children*s laughter. All was well.
She awoke with a placid smile on her face, but her hair was wet as if she had been sweating. Beside her was a book just like the one in her dream, except that it had a substantial weight. Disregarding what was written in it, she put it into the pack she was carrying, certain that it was not by accident that it was given to her. After this she began the steep climb up the sheer cliff-face towards the Scissor-monster's lair.
The Scissor-monster was waiting in anticipation for his foe's arrival. As her head rose above the final ledge, he charged in a vain attempt to defeat her before she could prepare a defense. She was too smart and agile to allow this to succeed, and she did a flip into the cave. However, she was not fast enough to move her entire body out of the path of the blades -- her hair became a short bob, where before it had reached her knees. As soon as she got her footing, the scuffle continued, and Laura soon realized that she could not defeat the monster on her own. Dodging the blows of the enemy, she took out the book, wishing some enchantment it might hold would aid her in this quest.
"Ha, do you expect me to be defeated by a paper weapon? It shall be shredded in my grasp, and I shall destroy it. It will be torn into seven pieces then each piece will be ripped into seven more. Each of those bits will be blown away in the wind, but I shall track them down and slash them seven more times, and then the same will be done to each of those pieces on and on until the only memory of the despicable book is the wind which carries its dust." The Scissor-monster sprang towards the book, snapping down onto its spine. Laura had no time to react to this sudden assault. An ear-shattering crack filled the room, and the monster was divided into seven parts over and over, a chilling recreation of his promise. And it was not only the master who was annihilated -- all of the underlings spread across the land suffered the same fate.
Laura breathed a sigh of relief, and set off on the long journey home. Each night she opened the book and read a story from it, memorizing each detail until she could recite it both backwards and forwards. She saw how good and pure the fairytales were and thanked her Mother Goose continually for the gift the goddess had given. Laura made it back to the children, who rallied around her as always. Each and every year she prayed that the hair which had been taken would grow back, but it stayed short, as if cursed, a reminder of the grim consequences of evil deeds. And each and every year she told this which has now become legend as fact. With the ease of a nanny created for the impossible, she had shattered the reign of the ominous, scheming, and ever terrifying Scissor-monster.
